Pilgrimage to the Holy Land

Before the Calling

My sister Ashikin came back from her Haj pilgrimage in early 2000 and said to me: Your name has been mentioned…I made a special request for Allah to invite you to His House”. Oh, Okay I thought…did not mean much to me then, though I was aware of it being one of the obligatory practices for a Muslim. My husband and I had registered a few years ago, putting in some preliminary funds as a start, without any particular plans.
Years rolled by and we were regularly sending off friends and family members to Mecca and hearing great anecdotes of their experiences which aroused our interest and curiosity, but still we did not actively pursue it. Somehow, a couple of years ago, we suddenly had the urge to go. It was exciting to discover that our turn would come in 2011.

The Journey Began
In 2010 we were invited to attend seminars organized by Tabung Haji , the agency which is responsible for the Malaysian Hajj Pilgrimage Funding and Operations. However, both of us had work and family commitments which prevented us from attending these sessions. When we received the same invitation in early 2011, we did not miss the chance. It all began with attending two to three hour lectures on the Hajj practices at the Kelana Jaya Tabung Haji mosque every Sunday for 17 consecutive weeks. This seminar culminated with a two-day forum at the Shah Alam Blue Mosque which included simulation exercises with a mock Kaa’bah and all the other facilities and requirements in Mecca, Mena & Arafah.

Though all the classes were helpful, there were things we were not really prepared for in the actual exercise. We scrambled to find out more in order to be better equipped. Time flew a bit too fast for us. Before we knew it, it was time to fly. We had so many people giving us advice for the logistics – some say don’t bring much; some say be prepared for everything; some say you don’t need to change your clothes too often ; some say you would not have time for shopping; some say go out and buy everything you need there; and the list goes on. Although we can be classified as seasoned travelers, the mixed messages confused us anyway and we ended up taking some not so sensible advice. But, eventually it did not do much harm – we somehow adapted.

Arriving in Madinah Al Munawwarah
Our first stop was at Madinah Al Munawarrah. We were there for eight days. The first time I prayed at the Prophet’s Mosque, Masjid Nabawi was unforgettable. I was not even thinking of anything in particular. In fact I was feeling a mixture of jet lagged, mental fatigued and lethargy, looking around at the whole place with almost detached emotions as I went through the motion of preparing for the Zohor prayers. But somehow when I started praying, I was overwhelmed with such an enormous feeling of peace and tranquility, I began to cry and could not stop. I had to struggle to prevent the tears from interfering with my recital of the verses in my prayers. Until today, I cannot explain what moved me so much, so fast. This beautiful mosque will remain in a special place in my heart and I pray to Allah that He will grant me a chance to pray in the Prophet’s mosque, time and time again.

Places of Interest
When we were in Madinah we also had the opportunity to visit the famous Uhud Mountains, the holy burial sites of the martyrs of Islam during the days of the prophet, the magnificient Quba Mosque which is located at the site of first mosque the Prophet built with the Ansar clan when he first arrived in Madinah and a few other interesting places.
It is such an amazing experience to look at barren rocks ,hills and desert tracks where the prophet and his companions used to take. And the stories they would be able to tell, if only we can get them to talk.

The First Sight of the Holy Kaa’ba
I don’t think I can ever describe accurately how I felt at the first sight of Kaaba. When you think about it, the Kaa’ba is just a cube-shaped structure measuring an area of over 600 square feet. But the significance of this divine infrastructure is beyond human understanding. How can you describe the way billions are drawn to it every year and for most of us, just at the sight of it can invoke tears of awe, joy, gratitude, harmony , peace, bliss, humility and all the incredible feelings only something related to the divine can incite.

The Experience of Praying in the Grand Mosque
I treasured every single opportunity to pray at the Grand Mosque of AlHaram. During prayer times, the mosque was full to the brim especially closer to the Hajj period, but we always found a place to pray. This is where we meet people from all over the world and for me it was eye-opening and enriching because we saw a perspective of people and their beliefs and inclinations which are different although we are all Muslims. Our favourite spot were normally in the hallway of the second floor, between the pillars and walls close to the King Fahd’s Gate. No matter where we pray, my husband and I made it a ritual to move closer to the Kaa’ba after our prayers. We were automatically drawn to it like a magnet. We end up gazing at this monumental structure with immense feeling of gratitude and love and pray to Allah for all the things that were in our hearts – for the wellbeing of our loved ones – parents, children, siblings, friends and even for the organizations we work for and our country and religion.

Times at Arafah and Mena
Spending a period of time in the mountain area of Arafah is a must-do for the Hajj pilgrims. This marks the place where Adam and Eve were reunited after being separated for two hundred years. This is where we can pray and get closer to the Almighty within the stipulated period and pray for meaningful things which matter most to us. The following nights were spent at Muzaliffah where we stopped to gather pebbles for the “Three Jamrah Throwing” in Mena. These pebble- throwing rituals symbolize our fight against the quest of Satan whose main aim is to divert us from the right path.

Completing the Hajj
To accomplish the Hajj, we had to complete seven rounds of the circumambulation of the Kaa’ba or “Tawaf” . Before doing the tawaf I was worried sick of how I could cope with the crowd and the jostling and pushing but when we were inside, things was not as bad as I had perceived it to be.

Next we followed the tracks made by Hajar, wife of Prophet Ibrahim from the hills of Sofa to Marwah in search of water for her baby Ismail. All in all, we get pretty good exercise once they are all done. People who are not physically fit have the option to be ushered in wheel chairs, so these activities are pretty inclusive.

Winding Down
The next few days we could relax a bit, do some shopping and get souvenirs for people back home. Flying back through the city of Jeddah was unforgettable. We had to wait close to eight hours just to board the plane and airport officials did not feel any necessity to be concerned with the wellbeing of people , even ill or disabled passengers. But we did not allow this experience to spoil our beautiful journey. And truly, for me the journey to the Holy Land was unique - it was transformative, to the extent of which I can barely comprehend what is going on but the little I know of it is that it is close to soul-cleansing, Alhamdulillah.

TURKMENISTAN, LAND OF STARK BEAUTY AND HOPE

Before the Trip

I had a working stint in Turkmenistan for almost ten days. When I tell family members and friends about going there, I was shocked that so many never knew the country even exist. These were some of the responses…”Took Me What??? Where in the world is that? How do you spell it, I cannot find it on the Internet? What …stan again? Are you sure there’s such a place?”

I asked them to look it up on Wikipedia and other google sites. Turkmenistan, formerly part of USSR, is now one of the richest country in Eastern Europe in terms of natural resources. The country is bordered by four nations, Afghanistan, Iran, Kazakhstan and Uzbekhistan.

Almost like Home

The best part of it is that Turkmenistan and Malaysia enjoy a special relationship. It is primarily through the relentless efforts of the two nations’ former premiers – Mahathir Muhammad and Turkmenistan’s former president. These two charismatic leaders shared similar aspirations and visions for the country and the people of their respective states. When you first see Ashgabat the capital city, you will find it a haunting replica of Putrajaya. Both are modeled on the illustrious Russian City of St Petersburg. The dome-shaped roof tops, austere white buildings, cobbled walking paths and even the street lights are almost exact copies. Well, that made us ( Irhan , Fathi & I) feel at home even though the sight of police personnel ala KGB agents from James Bond movies we encountered with, every 100 meters gave us some jitters.

Picturesque Backdrop

But elsewhere, the stark beauty of Turkmenistan made it memorable for me, like no other place I have visited before. I was particularly mesmerized by the snow- clad mountains viewed from the plane before we landed. The scenery was so beautiful, it took my breath away. I felt so blessed to be alive to see another one of God’s Masterpieces. I could imagine these magnificent mountains weaved with historical paths and tracks made by conquerors the likes of Genghiz Khan, Alexander the Great, Attila the Hun, Ivan the Terrible or was it the Horrible; if only these mass of rocks and terrains could speak, imagine the stories they would tell!

Even though I did not have the opportunity to visit museums and palaces which I would have loved to, I managed to look at pictures and art pieces depicting legends and folklore and speak to people who could spin a tale or two about them. One cannot help feel that this place must be rich with culture and history.

More than a Job

Our work took us to another town, Turkmenbashi which is an hour away by flight. This is Turkmenistan’s “Pot of Gold” . The small town is located close to the Caspian Sea and is bustling with activities which tap into the country’s Oil and Gas resources. This is the location of PETRONAS’ business hub and although the infrastructure is still in its infantile stage, and the whole area requires major development works, the place is brimming with potential. Even in the peak of winter where the frost and the wind blowing from the coldest part of the continent have the tendency to make you want to curl up in bed and cry your heart out for home, PETRONAS staff – local Turkmens or Malaysians are still looking bright. They go about their work with happy, contented faces as if the foul weather is no reason to be gloomy. I applaud them!

The food for me, was another story. I am not into meat and chicken, and the hotel does not provide fish or seafood for meals, so I survived only on bread, salad and eggs. Pretty good deal if the salad each day was varied and protein like nuts and legumes could have been included, but I had no such luck.

What Went Well

It was not that bad really. A PETRONAS staff from Kuala Lumpur with a heart the size of Asia and Europe put together invited us to his home for a sumptious lunch on our first Sunday. God bless him & his wonderful wife! Some friends took us out a couple of nights for some good food; once to a Floating Restaurant where I got to eat fish and the second time to a PETRONAS campsite. Eating at the campsite dining hall created a nostalgic effect. On the way to the hall, the tantalizing aroma of “mamak” curry beckoned us. On a cold winter night, having had no spicy food for more than ten days, that hit us like the voice of Lorelei to seafarers.

Anyway the trip was extremely meaningful for me. The people we encountered made it worthwhile. They were sweet and welcoming and were learners par excellence. They made us feel like we have contributed to their personal enhancement and managed to add value to their lives. That’s all my pals and I were hoping for anyway. That we have made the journey that far, not only to just do a job but to extend our services to people in the hope of making a difference in their lives and in the process learn more about life too.

LEGACY OF LOVE

The Parents I know
When I think about my parents I realize that I don’t really know much about them, beyond what I remember from my childhood …bits and pieces of memory; not exactly superficial but not enough to enable me to write a good story about them, what more a memoir.

About Mother
My mother’s name is Majmin binti Aboo Bakar. Funnily, her name appears differently in a few different identification documents. I don’t know whether the fault lies with the authorities who were in charge of generating the details on paper, or with us who should have been more cautious and should have taken greater responsibility when receiving or verifying the documents.

Her ID stated that my mother was born in Sungai Gelugor, Penang on 21 September 1923. Her father, Aboo Bakar bin Zainal Abidin was a clerk with the government department. During that period this position was considered pretty important among the small community in Sungai Gelugor. Her mother Che Chik @ Aishah, a home maker was the only daughter of a highly respected couple, Tajudin and Zubaidah.

Her Childhood
From the formative years, her maternal grandmother was a key influence in my mother’s live. Her mother died when she was twelve, and her father remarried soon after. Her grandmother, Zubaidah then took over the caring of her late daughter’s children . Word has it that this lady had a dominant character, and was a powerful yet caring matriarch not only within her immediate family circle, but was renowned beyond that sphere. Apart from being a doting mother, she spent most of her life taking care of nephews and nieces, grandchildren, siblings, and ailing relatives whom she chose to adopt when they are in need of special care. Most were said to have passed away peacefully after years of tender care – and practically everybody was considered a relation.

Her Marriage
My mother married my father Yusoff, at the age of 14; a special arrangement made by her grandmother who was also a skilled matchmaker, among her many talents. The age factor did not become a legal issue then. My father was only 20. People reached maturity faster when times are tough…I believe.

My Father
Coincidently, my father Yusoff was born in 27 September 1916 in the same house in Sungai Gelugor. They were distant cousins. When he was still a child, his father Haji Hassan bin Abu Bakar moved over with his family to the Northern State of Kedah to take up the post of a teacher in Alor Star. His mother Rathuan binti Yong Mohamad Said was believed to be related to the old Perak Royal family. She died in childbirth when my father was very young. In 1950, his father died leaving him with a step mother and young siblings to care for, apart from his own five children.

His early years
My father spent most of his youth in the district of Seberang Perak in Kedah and after completing his secondary education started work in the postal service. When he had to retire early due to a very serious ailment, he brought the family to settle in Penang. The house in Bukit Gelugor where we all grew up in is filled with a vast collection of memories - some tearful, a few terrifying instances, many hilarious moments but mostly happy ones – for me, at least.

The LOVE between them
Their love story began only after their marriage. And to this day, I will never forget how much love there was between my parents though there were quarrels and complaints. When I was still a teenager, after hearing the incessant grumblings my mother would shower on my father, I asked him once how he could continue to take it. He looked at me calmly and said, no one knows the wonderful things she has done for him…giving birth to his fourteen children, taking care of all of us and him as well. He owes her so much and can never repay her for all the things she has done and been to him. Her crabby complaints are harmless – just her way of releasing stress. Back then, being both a a hot and hard- headed teenager that I was, it did not mean much to me. But now, when I recall those words again, I cannot help the tears …what a truly, lovely man...I LOVE YOU BAPAK!

What Ramadhan Means To Me

The act of fasting
I love Ramadhan not because I enjoy fasting that much. To be honest, I am not that good at it. I get cranky when I am hungry on normal days, but in Ramadhan, I can take it just... a little bit better. And what I find trying, is the thirst and the dry- mouth effect. I suppose that’s part of the whole cleansing exercise – body and soul.

Memories of Ramadhan gone by
What I love about it is the nostalgic memories of childhood fasting Ramadhan brings with it. I remember the times we got up for the pre-dawn meal or “sahur” which was hilarious. It was a chore waking up my brothers for sahur especially De (pronounced as Dare) & Dat. You pull their blankets off, they will curl up in a ball; you make as much noise as possible, and they are not affected at all – it is as if they are not in the same world. Last trick is sprinkling water; even that would not work with De . He will just wipe his face on the bed sheet and doze off again.

The final strategy is to drag him to the dining table. For this, it required precision and great teamwork. Although he did not weigh as much then as he does now, he was still pretty heavy years ago for scrawny children the likes of my sister Zu, my brother Ba, Yatdean (the baby of the family) and I. When we got him to the table, we had to make sure he stayed there and did not make an escape back to the bedroom. That took a lot of energy. But we had fun.

Remembering the times with father
I cherished times of breaking fast, with my late father at the head of the table reciting the brief prayer once the drums from the neighborhood mosque could be heard. And my siblings and I, we just could not wait any longer…half of our glasses would be empty before he finishes his prayer.

Reminiscing about my childhood, I always remembered how poor and deprived we were. We did not get new clothes on a regular basis or presents or toys like other kids. But come to think of it, there has never been a time when we did not have food to eat. My parents always ensured that there was always enough – not gourmet stuff, but palatable and nourishing food. When I think of how my father with a small pension (he had to take early retirement due to health reasons) managed to do that for a family of fourteen, I am amazed. He must have been a whizz with money management.

My prayers and hopes
These days, the month of Ramadhan spurs my resolve to strengthen my spiritual experiences. I consider it apt to start to be more giving and considerate during this beautiful month. I find more peace at night, maybe because I get back earlier from work and have more time for myself. I get to perform the special “Tarawikh” prayers at the mosque or at home if I cannot make it to the mosque.

And I get to pray more for my beloved father who has been gone for more than 20 years but never forgotten. And for my mother who is bedridden; and my sister Mimi who helps take care of our mother with selfless devotion.

And this is the time when I have faith that god will guide me and grant me the strength to be a more compassionate, supportive and loving wife, mother, sister, friend, colleague and human being . Amen!

HAPPY TO BE ME

Feels Good to Write Again
It’s been too long since I last posted something on my blog…gosh, it has been ages! The last article talked about my disappointment with AAM and glowing accounts on how my son took charge and saved the day. Ha ha ha! Talk about being the proud mum, no one sees you the same way your mum does eh?
Anyway a friend made a remark about that article. It seems that I should not be allowed to drive since I cannot even attend to the first essential requirement of a credible driver - change the tyres in an emergency; it is downright criminal, he says. Well, FRIEND - I have news for you! No where in the world is there a law which stipulates that someone will only get his/her driving license only after demonstrating that he/she is capable of changing the tyres.

Being Mechanically Challenged
On the other hand, I can see a tinge of merit in his statement. Being independent and fully in control of the situation wherever you are make a lot of cow sense. Changing a tyre does not require skills or knowledge in automobile engineering (never mind that I was struggling with even fundamental physics in university) but it is the physical exertion that I have a problem with. I confess - I am mechanically challenged. Anything that requires manipulation of objects, involving the usage of my hands to work manually or to craft physical items such as ornaments and stuff – I end up with all thumbs. I would need more time to learn most psychomotor skills then other people and mastering them would require endless practices and repetitive drilling, which I find almost nauseating, really .
Although I have always cleverly managed to dodge having to do them, there have been times when I agonize about it, feeling a sense of failure for not being good at things even some eight year olds can master. Seriously - I even had to ask for help from my little nephew when I had difficulties using a particular can opener once. How embarrassing can it get?

A Revelation
But the turning point for me was after reading the book Now Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton. I am now so totally cool with being mechanically challenged because I discovered strengths and talents which I have always taken for granted and considered trivial. It made me see myself as someone with immense potential and power; whatever my shortcomings. The book also provides tips and strategies on how to work around my challenges so that each of them does not become a BIG deal.
There you go….needing help and reaching out to support systems and individuals who have more expertise than you, do not indicate weakness. It just makes you appear human because that’s what life is all about. Einstein was quoted to have asked people close to him what his own home address was.

The Meaning it Created for Me
My greatest grab from the book was this statement “What does a strong life look like?” …it is when a person succeeds in building his life around his/her strengths. As I read on, I felt totally empowered. I want to continue get ting up every morning feeling that I am doing what I love most…and with God’s Grace, I will achieve GREAT things!

My Son, My Hero

I Could Not Believe It Could Happen to Me…
I was on the way to fetch my son from his tuition class on a rainy night, when my car tire busted. It happened at about eight pm on the Damansara Road off the LDP. I was careless and accidently grazed the road kerb on the right causing the front tire of my Kelisa to cave in. I thought I could stop later, at some shop houses or service station when the dragging sound of the tire alerted me to the danger of veering out of control or worse, so the decision was made for me.

I parked a few meters away from a Durian roadside stall. The Durian seller thought he had a customer but when I asked if he could help, he assured me that he would once it stops raining.

Call for HELP!
I did what most people (who do not have the essential skills for emergencies like this) would do….call the Automobile Association of Malaysia or AAM. It was not easy to get connected to the toll-free number but when I finally managed it, the operator asked for the relevant details and location. Half an hour later, I called AAM to remind them again and was told that they will send someone soon.

Meanwhile, I made arrangements for my son to be fetched by a Taxi driver friend as my husband was away on a business trip. It was getting late, and it was still pouring incessantly and I was feeling quite frightened as there were now fewer cars on the road, so I called again to check whether AAM was able to provide the services or not and the operator reiterated that AAM will send help soon.

Shazmeer to the Rescue
A little later, my 16 year old arrived and we sat in the car while the rain persisted. I felt more comforted but tried AAM again. The usual answer came… “Someone will be there soon”. When the drizzle got milder, Shazmeer got out of the car, went over to the Durian Seller to ask for help to jack up the car.

Even though it was Shazmeer’s first time, within 15 minutes, he managed to change the tire, almost effortlessly. What a sight…needless to say, I was one proud Mama! The Durian man helped too. But Shazmeer’s accomplishments deserve a special mention. I hope he will always be proud of this moment.

I was Lucky…Thank God!
Just before we left, AAM called to ask for our location. I told them not to bother. …it was close to three hours since my first desperate call for help. What saddens me is that I was in dire need of help and sought the services of an organization which had promised to be “Your Number One Motoring Friend”. I shudder to think of some other lone women stranded perhaps on a less busy road waiting for help for that length of time. And if they are unlucky, we read about them in the news the day after.

AAM might be just a non-profit organization, but it cannot get away with sloppy services. We should always remain considerate Malaysians, but we should not tolerate slackers…

Snippets from our Vacation in Jakarta-Bandung

It was that time of the year again when we go off together for a family getaway. Last year we were in Bali, a week full of sun, sea and soothing spas; the year before in Hong Kong – memories of rides in trams, cable cars, roller coasters and Disney shows still linger in my mind. And this year, we decided to spend some time with my hubby’s sister in Jakarta.

It was filled with fun and endless laughter thanks to the Dynamic Duo - my son Shazmeer and his Aunty Ria who can make a joke about everything and anything. Ria’s husband, Irwan on the other hand made it his mission to feed us every few hours. We had Traditional, Western, Fusion, and Oriental; and tried all kinds of Indonesian desserts, to my daughter’s delight. As for me, I fell in love with the original Jakarta J-Co Donuts. My favorite was the ones with Almond and cream toppings…mmm I can still remember how it tastes like – crunchy and creamy and yummmy. And when we arrived home last night, I nearly blacked out when I stood on the weighing machine. Argggh!! okay, don’t panic – next weekend will be spent at the gym and from now on, no more night feasts, that’s a promise.

The hospitality extended to us was incomparable. The cousins, Mila, Dini, Ledy and their spouses were simply awesome. And of course, there was hilarious Ella who gave me a jaw ache with her incessant jokes. When she was taking photographs of Mila, Ria and I, she nicknamed the three of us, “The Golden Girls”. The moment she joined our group in the photo shoot, she called the group “The Fantastic Four” …that’s Ella for you – quick thinking, extremely witty, and real good company.

It was also a time for discovery for me. I found to my pleasure the side of Ria that I only had a glimpse of, in the past. My sister-in-law has a beautiful soul. A humanitarian personified, she takes care of her cats and dogs with unbounded love and compassion. She puts me to shame for the dismal efforts I have made for the pets in my care. All her cats have cute, quirky names with characters to match. Ria not only dotes on her eleven house-bound cats; with the aid of helpers, she feeds the street cats as well. If she is unable to rescue them personally, she provides funds for them to be taken to the vet and checks on their welfare whenever possible. She will go through sleepless nights if she knows of a suffering animal and cannot reach out to help.

Ria cares about people too. On our shopping trip to Bandung, when we were busy looking for our own stuffs, she spent hours looking for souvenirs for her helpers. I remember when Ria and Irwan used to go off on their holiday trips, if they stop over in KL, there will always be special gifts for everyone, especially the children. And the attention she puts in every selection speaks volumes. My daughter Sheera finds both Ria and Irwan adorable to watch. "Both are extremely softhearted and goofy, and they look so sweet together as well". she says.

We all had a great time in Jakarta. The lovely company made up for the crazy, senseless, non-stop traffic congestion which would have driven us up the wall, otherwise.