LETTER TO MY DAUGHTER

Dear Precious,

I have not always been a good mother. In your early years, I was so busy with office work that I neglected you at times, taking for granted that you are well taken care off by your paternal grandparents. God bless them! Yes, I took pains to teach you how to talk and read and showed you off as a super kid, but I never stopped to think that you needed more than that. You were extremely shy and hated to be shown off and instead off leaving you be, I thought you were just being stubborn and recalcitrant and continued to push you.

I did not have much patience with you during your formative years, expecting you to be like other kids and not allowing you to grow in your own special way. I remember times when I used to ask you how your friends perform in comparison to you instead of just being happy with your accomplishments. I recalled telling you that so and so are achieving wondrous feats; you should aspire to be like other people’s children …as if being just you is not good enough.

Reflecting on all that, I wish it could have been different, but I know going back in time is beyond us. However, I pray that it is still possible to make amends. To let you know that you are everything that is good and pure and beautiful from your daddy and I. You are truly our princess and we are sooo proud of you and have been - from Day 1 when you came squalling out into the world.

My mistake was to have tried to mould you into the image of the great individual I had visualized in my mind all along. Little did I care that you already have that natural mechanism programmed in you to be GREAT. I was trying to make you live my dreams, when I should have let you live yours. I pray that Allah would show me the path to redeem the wrongs that I have done. And baby, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

Your loving mother always.

TEACHING EAGLES TO SOAR

The past five days have been one of the most memorable days since I delved into the world of learning facilitation. It was challenging yes, but it was fun too and most of all it was extremely touching to know that you can see people make incremental but visible changes right in front of you. All we did were share the tools and techniques to help these aspiring “eagles” realize the need to discard their baggage and barriers that limits their growth, sharpen up their worldview and build on their innate talents and strengths as well as open their minds to the possibilities that await them in the future. We use the “Eagle” as a metaphor to enable them to visualize the positive characteristics they should be aiming for.

They were PETRONAS scholars within the age range of 19 – 22. They came from different backgrounds but with a few exceptions, were uncannily similar in a number of aspects – well mannered and exceptionally polite – they addressed me as “Madam”; although we encouraged the usage of first names, willing to learn, enjoy interactive activities which involve physical exertions, but getting them to talk and share their views willingly was like trying to get blood out of stone. That was an exaggeration, but really I was, and still am amazed at how unresponsive they were the first day; it was almost torturous…. I nearly had second thoughts about continuing. During the break, I reflected on it and wondered what we or I did wrong. My partner Jalil said it was normal, they needed more time to warm up. Somehow, I don’t think my son Shazmeer and his pals would have required that long to thaw…I could be wrong.

Anyway, I enjoyed myself tremendously once the participants started letting their hair down. They were in their elements – half child; half adult in their thinking and mannerisms. They amazed me with their childlike creativity and adult ability to engage in high level discussions and share views which were profound and extraordinary. They relished competitions and always set out to win but appreciated the need to also cooperate and collaborate. I felt like a proud mother when I saw how they had transformed from shy, reserved individuals to courageous presenters in just five days… and I pray to God that with all that they have accomplished, they would be able to sustain the energy. We bade them farewell on Friday night, wishing them all the best …"May all our eagles soar with the wind and reach wondrous heights”. We also told them that should they stumble and need a little nudge, we will be within reach.

I would always treasure the five special days I had with these twenty six young people from UTP. I am just so grateful to have gotten a little insight into their minds; what they like or dislike, how they think and what motivate them. I believe this experience will help me become a better learning facilitator, communicator, mother and ultimately make be a greater human.

Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly, and they will show themselves great.Ralph W. Emerson