I love being a mother. It is like no other role you can take up. No matter how many books you have read, how many people you talk to and get tips from, how many TV shows or videos you have watched, workshops you have attended, nothing would prepare you for what you will experience as a real life mother. I had never dreamt that it could be so fulfilling to watch two extraordinary human beings blossom in front of my eyes; from knowing or being capable of practically nothing; to becoming more aware of his/her self by the day, growing to be more and more independent, confident and self-assured.
The Challenges Which Accompany Motherhood
With the joy came enormous responsibilities. I am not talking just about the night feeds and toilet training and the sleepless nights due to teething or fever or because they cannot sleep due to having butterflies in their stomach because the next day is going to be the first day of something.
It is about being responsible for someone else’s happiness or wellbeing or both. The decisions you make, the words you use, the tone of your voice, how you react, the tenor of your thoughts mirrored in your expression….everything has the power to make the other person feel encouraged or despondent, overjoyed or gloomy, euphoric or completely desolated. Imagine the power you wield…scary isn’t it?
The Angel or Monster You Have Created
Your decision to breastfeed or not to, your choice of baby food, nutrition, kindergarten, baby sitters, playground, your partiality towards electing peace of mind over creating cranky and disagreeable behaviors will eventually produce favorable results in the long run or haunt you for the rest of your life.
To make matters worse, how that person shapes up psychologically – his/her values, beliefs, perception and perspective of life are very dependent on your inclinations and choices. And all these tendencies drive their thoughts and behaviors and create them into the human beings that they are today.
My Favorite Moments
Even though it has not been hassle-free, I would not have wanted it any other way. I loved every minute of being a mum. Both my children had their own way of crafting nightmares for me. These are some of the milestones which were unforgettable - he became a kindergarten dropout after the third day , she consistently refused to attend school when her favorite teacher was away, they habitually rejected the clothes I chose in favor of their own selection which resembled something from the Salvation Army, she was adamant not to participate at her own birthday party, they insisted on having pets and ignored the responsibilities that came with the fun, at six years old, he went into the principal’s office to complain that he was having a hard life at home because he had to attend school and Quran lessons as well. With my son - the arguments, the constant negotiations and bargains that went on just to get out of chores and responsibilities sometimes made me wonder if I had mistakenly taken someone else’s baby home after delivery. It is all true … I guess that’s what makes them so special.
They are great kids really. Both are respectful, attentive and dedicated to their cause. And most importantly, they are affectionate, thoughtful and loving….most of the time.
My Wishlist
My greatest wish for them would be to see them find success, peace and love. I hope they would give the world their best and grow into happy, wholesome individuals, taking their responsibilities seriously and yet find joy and humor at every turn.
I hope and pray they will remain the way they are and will continue to make the people who love them proud. If they have strayed or would happen to stray from the right path, I hope they would find their way back into the fold. I hope that they realize that there are always people around who are just waiting to give a helping hand because they are worth it.
I thank God everyday for this gift – there is nothing greater in my life than having these two wonderful children. For the two of them, this is my vow – I will always love you - Shaheera & Shazmeer even after I am gone. May you always be guided in the right direction and sheltered from harm and may the grace and light of the Almighty always shine upon you
I love this quote from renowned author Margaret Mead
"One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you don't come home at night." That’s why we all have mothers…
